Why “Just Be Strong” Isn’t Enough: The Psychology of Black Woman ResilienceFatigue

We all know the phrase.

“Be strong.”

It’s been spoken over us. Preached to us. Breathed into our survival storieslike gospel.
But let’s tell the whole truth:

Strength without support is a setup.
Strength without rest is a trauma loop.
Strength without softness? That’s not liberation.

The Ancestral Blueprint of Survival

Let’s take it back…

400-some-odd years ago in the American South, slavery created opportunities foreveryone but the enslaved.

Our ancestral line is full of women who had no choice but to be strong:
- Watching husbands turned inside out by lynch mobs
- Watching children sold to another plantation—or, in present day, taken by thechild welfare system
- Navigating life with an ignorance that wasn’t chosen, but legally enforced byanti-literacy laws
- Surviving brutality, scarcity, and terror... generation after generation

We weren’t just being strong—we were being strategic about survival.

And now? We are free. But are we liberated?

The Cost of Chronic Resilience

Bouncing back from hardship should build strength.
But for many Black women…

The bounce back became the baseline. The expectation. The bare minimum.
We don’t even call it trauma anymore. We just call it “life.”

And for those who don’t bounce back quickly—or who break first, even if itfeels like a slow chipping away of the soul—the shame creeps in.

Some days, the bounce back doesn’t look like yoga or journaling.
Sometimes it looks like:
- Crawling on the floor to find your glasses after life knocks you flat
- Staying on the couch and finishing the bag of chips, the pizza, and the sodabefore you can even think about a green juice
- Letting the tears flow without spiritualizing or silver-lining them

The Wellness Industrial Complex would have you believe that your healing startswith Lululemon leggings, a yoga subscription, and an overpriced meal prep box.

But real healing?
Sometimes it starts with letting yourself fully feel the grief. Fully grievethe loss. Fully sit in the mess without rushing toward productivity orperformative wellness.

The Psychology Behind Resilience Fatigue

Resilience Fatigue is real.
It’s the emotional and physiological toll that comes from being in survivalmode for too long—without pause, without processing, and without propersupport.

It shows up as:
- Emotional numbness
- Rage bursts
- Brain fog
- Sleep disruptions
- Chronic sadness masked as sarcasm or over-functioning

The nervous system is exhausted.
The body is keeping score.

Radical Compassion as Recovery

Sowhat’s the alternative?It’s not about abandoning strength—it’s about expanding your definition of it.